What is the definition of Computed Medical Research?

Computed medical research, my friend, is like the super-smart, yet slightly creepy, algorithm that takes all the patient data you throw at it, crunches it down to its most useful (or horrifying) conclusions, and then claims it's 'esearch' without a hint of the actual human touch or ethical considerations. It's basically a super-advanced, super-nerdy doctor who says, "Here's the data analysis!" and then throws out a paper with findings that could make your doctor's day at the hospital feel like a comedy show.

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Example sentence: "After analyzing my MRI scans and your genetic code, the computed medical research team concluded that my morning coffee could be causing my rare neurological condition—so much so, I'm considering a 'Caffeine Detox' before my next MRI appointment."